The Importance of Dating Yourself

Gently, we nurture each relationship we have with people; we take them for coffee, we sit and cry together, we laugh and constantly communicate. My best relationships are the ones where we speak life into each other, and allow each other to be our best version of ourselves.

How many times a day do we speak life into ourselves?

Our relationships with ourselves are mostly built on necessity. We eat when we can fit it in, half of us do not drink the amount we’re meant to, we always say yes to other’s before ourselves. In my opinion, the relationship we have with yourself is the most important one I think. 

If you love yourself, loving others becomes a given. We seek out people who are good for us, we seek out love which is not toxic, we say no when we need to. If you are your own best friend, you would never put yourself through dangerous situations, you would not burn yourself out. 

Some people suggest that we need to treat ourselves like a five-year-old. I agree with this in the sense that we need to put our basic needs first (8 hours of sleep, water, food and love). But I think we need to see our whole complete teen, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty something selves and we need to love each and every version of us. 

Humans are messy. We break things, but that does not mean we are destroyers. We are beautiful, but that doesn’t mean we are vain. We are scared, but that doesn’t mean we’re fearful. 

There is so much power to come from self-love. The world looks so much better when you’re so grateful to be here. Air tastes crisper when you enjoy every breath.

So, as you would share love, gratitude, appreciation for everyone in your life, do it for yourself too. One of my favourite things to do is take a book to a Waterstone’s café. I spend my time flirting with the idea of buying all the books that take my fancy. I pick them up and read their sweet invitations, but put them down, confident that the one in my bag will amuse me for a few hours today. When I reach the café, I order something sweet, something a little bit unhealthy, to go along with a coffee. I listen to my music, to music that’s good for the soul, and settle into my pages. Softly I fall, with no time limit, just enjoying my time, and myself.

After I lost Mummy, I would do this a lot. I would buy many books, and read some by the time I would get home. I know our time is precious and there are many demands from us daily, but I never see this as wasted time. I see it as planting seeds in my heart, and leave feeling excited to feel their bloom.

Other things I have done, is go shopping (because sometimes that is fun), have a bath in the dark with a TV show on (let’s face it, we all know it’s Love Island), go for a walk with my camera. 

I also go to a church in the city. I sit, and allow myself to think, feel and be quiet. It’s good for you to pause, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. It is so important to be alone, even though sometimes that’s a bit scary when so much is going on.

We don’t all have the time, but like we would for everyone else, make time for you. Make yourself a priority. Everyone who sees you will feel the benefits. Dress yourself up, date yourself for a while. Go to the cinema to see your new favourite film. Enjoy it, even if it is a bit crap.


23 thoughts on “The Importance of Dating Yourself

  1. Well expressed Eve. Sorry for the loss of your mother so I can see now that you can relate. Although mine is still here for now.
    You’re nailed it, you do have to love yourself first. I believe that if you love yourself first, feel comfortable in your own skin and as my saying goes “know what you know and know what you don’t know” it´s much more easier to help others while in not so much of a weird manner your also helping yourself.
    Very good post.

  2. I love this post! My 5 year old, 14 year old, 25 year old, 35 year old, and 45 year old really need some doses of love and care. Sending it back to those girls and women is a fabulous idea!! Thank you 🙂

  3. We’re all so different beloved, for I would hate to have Love Island playing in the background at any time or sit in full view drinking coffee and reading in places where others are. See I don’t like public places, lots of people swirming around me and shopping, that can be and is sometimes a horrid nightmare! Therefore, I have to ponder what my self love would take me to. (delay here as I am pondering) A quiet rural garden. (delay here as I am pondering some more) A place to skip, dance, playful and full of ripe fruit to pick and flowers and warmth or winter feeding the birds, watching them swoop down to the filled feeders… or homemade marmalade on toasted wholemeal rolls, sitting quietly at home drinking rosehip tea… Blessings of peace wished your way in whatever your kind heart desires.

    1. Thank you for your beautiful comment, and for such lovely wonderings. Peace finds us in whichever way we need it; our peace is our own, and we need to protect it at all costs 🙂 I wish you peace also.

  4. I’ve had to do this well more than once… it sucks but then again, when you only have to worry about you the simplicity is awesome.

  5. I really like this post. It’s important to date yourself from time to time, to take care of your needs and emotions.
    The world needs to pause for a moment because we, as humans beings, need to exist for our self in order to function properly.
    Thank you for sharing! 🙂

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