Isn’t it funny how my initial reaction to the news that I am being furloughed, a word that I had never heard of 2 months ago, was one of shame? In a worldwide crisis where millions of people are losing their jobs, I felt embarrassed that I am being furloughed for the next 2 months. Thankfully, this thought process did not last very long as I re-evaluate my position. I am extremely lucky and grateful for this scheme. And, while there is so much uncertainty in the world, I am grateful for this gift of time.
I feel so thankful because among all of this madness, I have found a home at my uncle’s. When the nation was panic stricken by the prospect of a lockdown and friends were leaving London to stay with their families, my compass pointed me here. And I was welcomed with a feeling of safety that I have not felt since before my mum passed away; a feeling of coming home again.
Over the next couple of months, there is a lot to consider. I feel as though the world is undergoing a collective healing at this time, to reflect on what is important and how we wish to resume our lives after lockdown.
Since my mum passed a way, my whole perspective on life changed and I have felt as though I have been walking around with a secret; “pssst, did you know that people actually die and none of what we are doing is actually that important?” All that truly matters in this life is family and being with the people you love, and I feel so lucky to be seeing this through with mine in a place that I can call home.
Today I leave you with a whole album rather than just one song; Norah Jones, Feels Like Home. I used to listen to Norah Jones all the time with my mum, I think everyone can feel a little closer to home listening to her voice.
Go gently,
Katie
So warmly written. The song is beautiful too and Norah is amazing singer. 💓
Thank you! Have you listened to Norah Jones on Youtube? She does little live concerts during lockdown 🙂
Yes, her songs are source of joy. 🙆👏
I think many emotions are triggered right now, shame probably a common one. Guilt and shame are interlinked but I’m glad to hear you have a job and a place you can call home, with family. It’s important to not feel isolated right now. Particularly when grieving for your mum. She would be so happy you are with your uncle. X
Hi Claire, yeah I agree. I have just entered my third week of furlough and feeling a lot better thank you. Work seems miles away and I am happy to have time to do what I enjoy 🙂 I hope you are safe and well 🙂 X
What a beautiful post – thank you Katie for reminding me what really matters as I eat my breakfast and start another day in lockdown ❤️ Lots of Love xx
I think living in a bittersweet world mean to care. I think that has it’s own rewards as difficult as it may seem. Good post.
Another stunning post I can so relate to. It was such an odd feeling when I furloughed as well. Just got to focus on what is important. x
Hi Gary! I struggled during the first 2 weeks off with keeping busy and finding motivation but my third week is looking a lot brighter and I am making the most of my time. How are you coping? Are you still off work? x
The company I work for manage things like cycle races, parades. Those are not happening anytime soon. Not sure the company will survive much beyond September without any events. But it is what it is. We have faced so much worse. We can do this. Any idea when you might go back x
I understand how you have had your perspective changed. Experiences and times with family take on a new priority when you lose someone you love.- David
Absolutely, thank you so much for commenting 🙂
There’s nothing like having a place you can call home!
Absolutely, I hope I never take that feeling for granted 💕