Before the worst, there was a point in my life where I had my mum, three little cats and a happiness that knew not of the grief that would intrude on my life. Before the worst, I knew my mum’s phone number off by heart and we would speak about five times a day, neither of us running out of things to say.
When we were just on the brink of the worst, we FaceTimed and neither of us had known it would be the last time – I still have that call logged on my laptop beside her funny little photo.
Now, after the worst has been and gone, I have learned to find a new happy.
A new happy that remembers the grief that robbed my family back in 2018 but shows up anyway. A happy that gives a little sad sigh at the end of each day and says “I wish I could facetime my mum”.
I had to get a new phone recently. For the first time, I don’t have that funny little photo and 11 digit combination at hand, recalling the constant conversation we used to share, before the worst.
But I remember it off by heart all the same.
I wish I could FaceTime my mum.
~
With all of the disruption going on in the world, I hope you are taking care of yourself. Now more than ever it is important to remember to take a look back through your happy memories that you have bookmarked.
Please remember that you are not alone.
Katie
Emotional post 👍👍
❤️XO
❤️
I am sorry. ❤️🦋🌀🙏☀️💦🌱
Very bittersweet. Thanks for sharing this.
Yes, some days I am really taken aback by how far we have come in such little time, and just how much i will always miss my mum. But I am really comforted to be able to share my grief within this community on wordpress. Have a lovely weekend!
Katie x
You have found a good balance. Enjoy life, and thank you for the motivating posting.Have a beautiful weekend. Michael
Thank you Michael, this blog has really helped us. Have a lovely weekend too 😀
😀😀 Indeed. Thank you too. 😀 😀
I could totally feel the words. 😭 This is ❤
Thank you so much, I’ve been meaning to post about this for a while but i didn’t really know how x
Hmmm. I completely get you, mate. 😭😉 And you wrote it in such a touching way. ❤
Feeling the presence of all our loved ones who are journeying beyond… probably dancing a little as we remember them. Do you feel them? I know my dad is doing his happy dance now, smiling down at us as we wander through these very changing times. Much love, Barbara x
Katie I give you an idea. Every year on the birthday of your mum you can organise evening of her with songs, books she loved and obviously cake.
Greetings from Bulgaria.
Perfect idea, obviously lots of cake 😉 thank you!
I can understand how much you miss your mom. I pray more of the wonderful memories about and with her fill your heart and mind as time goes on.
I consider myself so lucky to have had all the time together that we did ❤️ thank you for all of your comments this evening 🙂
A poignant and beautiful post. Losing a loved one is not easy. Continue to smile and know she’s forever in your heart. Peace.
Thank you for your support. We will 💕
I wish I could go to the pub with your mum.
To have a glass of wine and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and to see way she would rip them open.
We talked and talked about our children about our lives, past and future.
I miss her dreadfully and I think – when was the last time we did this. It was at the Cockhaven Manor in Bishopsteignton.
I miss her dreadfully but am blessed to have had her in my life . She will always be a part of it and for that I so grateful. I have you Katie and Evee as part of her.
All my love 💕 xx
We secretly got annoyed when she’d rip open the bag because she would eat them all, when we were meant to be “sharing”! haha
Mummy would absolutely want the same. Especially now the summer days are so nice and long.
We are so grateful to have you in our lives, because you are as much a part of her for us, as we are for you 🙂 xxxx all our love, love you Paula <3
❤️❤️ love you both xx
How wonderful that you and your Mom talked so regularly and connected so effortlessly. Those are special sweet memories 🤗
We were so lucky to have that connection 🙂
Moving , beautiful, words of love and hope.
Thank you for your support!
I still my Mum too – the phone still recalls her birthday and I haven’t erased it because…she was here and I loved her so much.
It’s so difficult isn’t it, sending you love and strength x
Same to you X
Hugs! This post indeed is bittersweet.. thanks for wishing us well considering that you are dealing with something yourself… I am glad you’ve got a new phone.. It’s a step closer…
Hi Janis, thank you for commenting your support, somedays grief hits a little harder than others and yesterday was definitely one of them! Oh me too, my old phone was on it’s last legs haha, but I have stored it away in my memory box now 🙂
Happy Sunday 💕
True. I understand what you mean about grief. There’s a loss that happened several years ago, but there are days that I cry about it like it was only yesterday. You’ve got an amazing outlet for yours… I wish you well and thanks for sharing…
Exactly, on those days I really try to look after myself and have written a post called Grief Day if you’re interested in taking a look 🙂 I wish you well too, Janis 🙂
Katie x
The best thing to remember your mum with, is to do a good deed (Ongoing Charity) in behave of her. She will be happy and you too.
Exactly. My mom died when I was 21 and just moving out of the family home. It took years for me to break the habit of wanting to pick up the phone and call her every time something good or bad happened. I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times but 36 years later I have no grief for her (except in the abstract ‘sad that someone should die so young’ way) but I’m left with warm, loving memories that make me smile.
That is awesome. I hope I get there someday.
That is awesome. Hope I get there someday.
Most enthusiastic post.
Here in the world nobody is alone,but it is separate matter that anyone wants to live alone.
Nice post
Its comforting to hear from you that I am not alone. I too have learned to find a new happy after losing my mom. I use my cooking blog to keep her memory alive. Whenever I am cooking I feel like she is right there. 💕
What a heartfelt post. Im so sorry for you loss and know how very hard it is to loose your mum especially when your so young.