by thegriefreality

As Told By Lisa

Death of a loved one is hard. Grief and mourning suck but both are necessary to heal.

I say ‘heal’ only as a descriptor because healing is not a vacation or a pleasure cruise that has a beginning and an end.

Healing is ongoing – a lifetime endeavor. The grief to mourning to healing continuum is fluid. It was described as riding the grief train.

The grief train makes frequent stops on the long journey.

Sometimes passengers board to start the process, others hop off to try to resume some semblance of normalcy – only to board the train again down the line when they find they’ve jumped off too soon.

Many head straight for the sleeper car to hide themselves from the side-glances of pity or the seemingly endless condolences, withdrawing into themselves to process the pain – or to escape it.

As the journey continues scenery beckons, life goes on whether one wishes it to or not. The grief train keeps moving with forward momentum.

Memories sneak in – sometimes prompting a trip back to the sleeper car for a rest period. But with time crying lessens, and one peers out from behind the curtains with reddened eyes, eyelids rubbed raw.

When the emotions are overwhelming, one may climb the ladder up to the roof, hoping for a chance to crash into an upcoming tunnel. More than once.

But eventually trips to the sleeper car become fewer when memories can be accompanied by laughter and occasionally tears. The urge to climb up the ladder is a distant memory. The desire to heal becomes stronger than the need to suffer.

Then:

Moments of beauty produce gratitude.

Gratitude for the past.

Gratitude for love.

Gratitude for support during the dark times.

Gratitude for those who provide tools to help soften the blow.

Gratitude for the ability to feel gratitude.

Practicing gratitude, one can give thanks for the grief train, for the people one meets while riding the rails are there for a reason.

There are no coincidences, ever.

XO Lisa

Thank you so muchLisa for such a heart warming post. Gratitude is a huge accomplisment to feel after a great loss. Thank you so much for your submission!

If you would like to submit your own thoughts or feelings about grief, feel free to do so at thegriefreality@outlook.com we would love to have you here 🙂 

Your posts can be as long or as short as you want them to be.

Photo by Mark Plötz on Pexels.com

22 thoughts on “As Told By Lisa”

  2. Thank you, Lisa for this insightful post and lovely poem. I agree with you that grief cannot be quickly overcome. I find that grief becomes wistfulness over time. When something good happens in my life, I have the impulse to pick up the phone and tell my grandparents, my parents or my late husband all about it! Missing them never goes away. Have a happy day! Cheryl

    Reply

  4. That was lovely. I really related to the analogy of the grief train. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  7. Grief is definitely a journey of healing! There is no Right amount of time! Always ignore those who say “hasn’t it been long enough” No! I am healing in my own time! Be brave continue to stand strong! There is #AlwaysHope. #HopeForTheHurting2017.wordpress.com
    #JoyComesInTheMorning

    Reply

  11. Thank you Lisa. The desire to heal becomes stronger than the need to suffer. That makes a lot of sense. 🙏

    Reply

  14. Yes a death of a love one is. 6 months after my first child was born my dad passed and a year later my mom. It gets easier to deal with but you never go a day with not thinking about them. Hugs to you.❤️

    Reply

  15. Thank you for this Lisa. I just lost one of my closest friends to a car wreck. We had spoken just hours before he left this life. There were so many plans we had but that just makes me excited to be reunited with him someday.

    Reply

Leave a Reply