by thegriefreality

Growth #4: Reflection

This year is coming to a close, and this will be one of my last Wednesday posts of 2020. I want to take you through my year, through the development of hobbies, new and old, through the posts I have written, through the medium that expresses me best: writing.

I love writing, it really is and always will be, a huge passion of mine.

I often think about how when I was little, I used to write about dragons, and sword fights, and warrior maidens, yet now my words have to be written with care. There is a lot of trust that comes with writing about grief.

You have to be aware of the mindset the person who may read your words may be feeling. You have to think quietly whether your word choices are peaceful enough. I love it; elegantly putting into words an emotion I feel, or reading someone’s post articulating an emotion I have being trying to process.

Then there are the times I write for me, and I use the words that simply divulge the emotion from my soul, and lift it from my substance. It feels good; wonderful in fact. It feels lovely to have someone quietly listening in. Witnessing my pain.

Writing has been my hobby for the longest time. It is my greatest friend, and has seen me through many years, and when I look back, it shows my growth the exact same way a log shows a trees years in rings.

There is freedom in writing; and freedom in being listened to.

At the beginning of the second lockdown, I fell in love with reading all over again. I love the gentle pages, and the familiarity of the action. There is so much comfort to be had from slipping between the pages and being surrounded by words, opinions, colours and images.

A hobby of mine that I have discovered throughout 2020, has been houseplants and growing things. I think it is humbling to have a plant living with you, and thriving under your care. To truly love and look after without expecting anything in return, teaches you so much more about yourself than you would realise.

This year has also been the year I truly got into and enjoyed cooking and baking. Learning about food, what is good for you and not, has been the foundations of a great and healthy relationship with self-care for me.

I am grateful for making the most of my time in lockdown and quarantine, and for enjoying music, exercise, and making new connections on this site.

I’ve always loved being creative. To begin embroidery, and try something new, has been incredibly rewarding. It has been a joy to learn a new skill, and to enjoy it so much. There is so much to be said for creating something without expectation. There is so much joy to be making something with your hands.

That’s the thing about hobbies; you dont realise how much happiness they bring you until you start talking about them. And then you realise that, really, you couldn’t live without them, at all.

~~~

I have looked through my posts this year. There are 30, now 31, posts from me. The first of the year was a post called The Importance of Dating Yourself. In that post I write to a smaller group of followers, and talk about things with an innocence to how this year would turn out. I hope I have kept up with that attitude of self care and self love, and I hope that this year of writing has helped you in any way at all.

Thank you for being here. Thank you to the silent readers who don’t comment. Thank you to the readers who do comment. Thank you to the people who come from our social media. Thank you to the people who stumble across our blog and never come back. Thank you to the people who keep coming back. Thank you for being here with me as I grow and navigate this world without my Mum.

I am grateful for you. I am grateful for every single one of you, and for the positivity you bring to this space.

I would love to know what your hobbies are, old ones from before 2020 or new ones that came about because of 2020, and what they have taught you.

Thank you for being my passion product, and for giving me my freedom.

Look after yourselves,

Evee x

48 thoughts on “Growth #4: Reflection”

  2. Hi Evee, Thank you for sharing. You have the rare talent of putting your thoughts into written word as well as helping the rest of us see what is sometimes right in front of our noses. I must admit to giving up most of my hobbies (except reading and gardening) so Bill and I could spend more time together, and on that front I have no regrets but maybe this is the time to either pick them back up or explore new ones.
    Thank you both for helping so many through our grief. I hope you have as good a Christmas as Covid will allow and pray that 2021 is a better year for all of us. Send ing hugs x

    Reply

  3. OMG! We writers are so similar. I, too, have taken to nurturing plants inside and outside, doing tons of baking, and picked my embroidery needles and hoops after years and years and years of ignoring them. Between these things and books, I’m staying happy. 🙂

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  4. My hobbies include reading, tending the plants exploring various recipes etc . During the lockdown my daughters insisted that I should note down the recipes which I cook in a notebook., which I have already started. I have also made a small start by writing in a blog from September 2020. What I want to talk about is a resolution for 2021 of maintaining a gratitude journal on daily basis. Lots of love ❤️ from India.

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  5. You have a remarkable talent in writing. Not many people have that unique, elegant easy to read style. My Jace was gifted in that same way. I know I write like a hot mess lol. I am also a hot mess so my way of writing fits me well.
    I love reading your posts/blogs. There’s been a couple times when I’ve really been having some bad days and missing my Jace…I would happen to see one of your posts and feel more at ease.
    I hope the holidays treat you well and I look forward to your 2021 posts. 💛

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much x you are so lovely to have commented something so meaningful. It’s is lovely to meet jace through you x

      If you would ever want to write a post for our As Told By You page, it would really be our honour to host it ❤️

      I hope the holidays treat you well also, and thank you again for your support x

      Reply

      1. Oh my, I’m speechless…thank you for everything you just said. I can’t believe the invite to share about Jace on your page! I’d love to. And I promise not to write or ramble on like a hot mess 💛.
        When I started my page, I didn’t think anyone would read or follow it. I figured it would be a secondary outlet for me to grieve. I’m so thankful for everyone whose read a post, liked, commented, followed and that still follows and hasn’t been scared away…yet lol. The support has been appreciated and a an incredible comfort than I ever imagined. 💛

      2. Ramble anything you want, we just can’t wait to read what you have to say 🙂
        If you want to, please email us at thegriefreality@outlook.com when you have your post 🙂 we have a backlog at the moment so it will take a while to post so there’s no pressure to come up w a post immediately; simply whenever it feels right 🙂
        I completely understand how you feel about thinking no one would read or listen. Your story is deserving of so much more than simply being listened to ❤️ it deserves to be heard 🤍
        Have a beautiful day x

  6. Hi Evee, Thank you for writing from you heart and sharing your passions and hobbies. It seems you have taken full advantage of this strange year to further your nesting, nurturing, and hobbies. Mine are reading, writing, time in nature, and photography. May your year be full of love and comfort, Brad

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  8. Thanks for sharing your growth and the renewed zeal for giving time to your hobbies…like you I too have started taking an interest in taking care of plants and a new found love for reading and writing…WP has been such a wonderful beginning for me…best wishes to you too 🤗💟

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  10. I really love what you said about the hobbies – they can be so life giving and can be such a gift
    Glad your year has unfolded well – with the 31 posts and hobbies etc and cheers to 2021

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      1. And side note – just watched a version of pride and prejudice and the ladies in some scenes sit and do the cross stitch – it looks cool and timeless art –

      1. I mean it – and no time for hobbies right now – but some year this will be added to my list! In the 1990s I helped my step daughter make a couple stitched ornaments – they sold those little kits with the yarn, needle, mesh, and frame and it had the color highlights to guide – was fun and maybe some year again

  12. Hello Evee
    Your post and the title sparked the fact that this year brought in renewed friendships. Those that I have known since childhood and this year brought us back together to reminisce. It’s a joyous feeling to reflect the “good ole days” Merry Christmas.

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  13. An inspirational post about growth.your hobbies of reaping plant,reading something new,amazing embroidery ,all are symbol of positivity.Weldon.Happy Christmas day,dear🌷

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  14. Pingback: Growth #4: Reflection – The Grief Reality – Love and Love Alone

  18. Beautiful writing, Evee, simultaneously bracing and soothing. It takes real talent to unfurl that particular combination.

    If you think about it, writing, along with your other interests, is a superb way to immortalize your mother. In pursuing these endeavors, especially in doing so with enthusiasm, you perpetuate her legacy. You celebrate the woman who started you on this journey, and your discoveries are your thanks.

    You may write with more “care” nowadays, but you always have drawn deeply from your soul. Perhaps your subject matter has changed. Then though, as now, you communicate what stirs your heart. We, your readers, benefit from your lifetime’s experience.

    Oh, by the way, gratified to read of your interest in cooking! Another chapter your mother started, and on the two of you collaborate. You’ll be glad you picked up the pen. Of course I’d type that, wouldn’t I? I do have a bit of a bias, after all…

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  21. You’ve done a lot with the year, and spreading pragmatic hope is definitely a part of that.

    Two hobbies that I couldn’t live without are writing and making music. Only during 2020 did I enthusiastically start to think I could have a book published, and I think I’m on my way there. And my brain seems to write songs all on its own and I’m just the vessel for the goodness.

    Thank you for helping to think about grief in productive ways and providing a safe place to share. ❤

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