As Told By Amanda-Lyn ((Aly))

Sorrow, heartache, pain, anguish, are all symbolic of the word grief. But I have come to know grief like a dear old friend, who while not entirely welcome, always finds a way in anyway.

I am the youngest of 5 children and the baby of the 3 girls, so I was the princess, the eternal child. My 3 eldest siblings were pretty much grown and moved out and it was just me and Alex. He was born August 25, 1980 and I, September 25, 1983. We were very close and near inseparable. He also had cancer and lost his battle at 11 years old. Suddenly, this fairy princess, the eternal child, was shoved fiercely into “maturity” in a way never imagined. I have spent a great deal of my life wondering why him? Why not me? It has been 29 years since his passing and yet, that ache is continually there.

Recently, we lost my beloved Father and my adopted “Ma” ((within less than 6 months)). Grief has now grown up and has children to boot. It’s been just barely 6 months since Dad’s passing and barely 2 weeks since “Ma’s”. And once again, grief has moved into my head and is there smiling that impish glee like the wicked friend that always gets you into trouble. I’m keeping her well contained but I do have my moments where I am an ugly, sobbing, horrific mess on the floor. I also have moments of complete and utter peace where for just a moment that ache stills and I feel no pain and that is because I know they are no longer in pain, they are free, and they are dancing with angels.

Our greatest thanks to Amanda-Lyn for this submission. You can feel the warmth and the eternal love in these words. Head over to see more like this at Aly’s page and her Facebook.

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Go gently, friends.

Photo by Evee

17 thoughts on “As Told By Amanda-Lyn ((Aly))

  1. Grief “like the wicked friend.” That is an apt description. I’m one of five (the middle) and experience great trouble (struggle) in imagining the world without any of my siblings. You lost your brother at such a young age. And to cancer. Which took my parents, years apart and a while ago, now. The heartbreak and the peace you experience alternately also makes great sense to me. Reminds me of Tennyson in “In Memoriam,” a favorite work of Victoria’s as she grieved for Albert. Yes, “they are free.” Thank you for saying and reminding us of that.

  2. Thank you all for the comments ♥ Grief needs to be spoken of just as much as love because it is sadly as much a part of life as breathing but if we embrace instead of fear, we find peace. Even more, we find peace when we give that grief to God when we just can’t handle it anymore.
    May His face shine upon you and cover you with blessings ♥

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