by thegriefreality

Revolt Against Valentines Day

I know it’s pretty standard nowadays to hate Valentines Day, and don’t get me wrong: its not that I don’t partake in it, I just hate how centred it is around female-male relationships. If Valentine’s Day was centred around love as a concept, about friendships, siblings, parents and every other bond, it would probably be my favourite day of the year.

I’ve not really been one to ever let myself be overly emotional about relationships, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to barrel full-force into oversized valentines day cards, stuffed bears carrying hearts and triumphantly pull out and a box of chocolates and say THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE ONE.

Instead, I politely ask you to head to the shop and join me in my silent revolution. Buy two cards. The most important thing about these cards is that they have to be under £1 each, and they have to be the least tacky ones there. I am so aware of how hard it is to find a nice Valentine’s card, but my personal favourite is any Valentine’s day card that has a dinosaur on it with a cringe joke like “I’m so happy you exist” or “If I was a t-rex I wouldn’t eat you”.

I am well aware that so far we have politely and gracefully delivered a pretty penny straight into a big company’s back pocket, however, here comes the revolt.

Let us open our favourite card, gently flatten the spine against the table, and write “Dear me”. I sense I may have lost you, but please, let’s focus on our revolution.

Valentine’s Day is a day that celebrates a limited form of love: I invite you to extend that love to yourself. I’ll give you a prompt in case you’re stuck:

“Dear me, thank you for…”

Whatever comes to mind, write it down. Neatly, because someone very important is going to read this (even if they might already know what what the card says). I imagine you to write reams and reams of reasons you are grateful for yourself, because there are so many, but I will settle for at least 3. If you’re really stuck I’ll give you one: “Dear me, thank you for carrying our body and mind through the pandemic”.

Once you have tucked away your card back into it’s envelope (it’s okay if you feel a bit silly), move onto your next card. Pick it up, don’t forget to take the price off (it would be a bit frustrating if our lovely person worked out we are cheapskates). Run your finger down the spine, and write to a person who has made your life better.

This can be someone who is not with us anymore, someone you take for granted everyday, someone you haven’t spoken to in years, a best friend, a brother, a dog, a cat, a stranger who wore their mask correctly, or the creator of chocolate spread.

Express your gratitude. Feel that love spread down your arm, into the pen, and seal it into your card. You may feel a little bit silly, it’s quite hard expressing our gratitude for people. Write their address and send it to them.

The reason for this revolution is a simple one. In a world that strives so much to compare each other to impossible standards, show yourself compassion. In a world which thrives on people not liking themselves; show yourself love. Put your card in a place that you can find it when you needed to be reminded of the fact youre wonderful. You will be amazed what reading words like that will do if you ever really need to hear them.

The second card serves to show us that we are not alone, but as well as this, it is worth the smile and joy that your card will bring to the heart of someone else. That is true love: trying to bring happiness without the anticipation of anything in return.

I really, really hope at least one of you will take part in this. Be ready for love, and be ready to give love.

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. We all know this, but not all of us realise this. I know that I would much rather have a best friend than a jailor living in my head.

You are so loved.

Evee x

P.S I know this post has gone up only one day before Valentines: if you choose to participate, you’ll just have to use the excuse that post must have been slow due to covid and the pandemic. However, no excuses not to write yourself a card because I have a sneaky feeling that one will get to its destination before the 14th.

PPS: If you feel silly, that’s because you’re wondering things like “what if someone finds this”, “this is stupid” and I remind you that this is a revolution. Take back power for yourself.

78 thoughts on “Revolt Against Valentines Day”

  2. I’m a lucky person who has in the past taken part in “Reclaim Love” that all started via the encouragement of the beautiful Venus CuMara. ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 I remember us all standing together to say “May all the beings in all the worlds be happy and at peace”. Happy memories of reclaiming love from the corporate world, because love is for everyone.

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  5. Words… Happy Valentine’s Day to you…. Father’s Valentine’s Day for their children… The Brotherhood’s Valentine’s Day for their sisters… The Valentine’s Day of God… God’s Valentine’s Day for The Servants… A Valentine’s Day with all the high morals of love… A love that is pure and pure from every malice or interest. Valentine’s Day in God❤️

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  6. The commercialization of Valentine’s day gets to be pretty obnoxious, but to give poor old Saint Valentine a fair shake, he was caught performing wedding ceremonies for Christian couples around 270 CE and he was tried and imprisoned for his crime of not only marrying Christians, but helping poor Christians which was illegal in Rome at that time. Apparently the emperor Claudius II (Roman emperor from 268 to 270 CE) took a liking to Valentine, but when Valentine tried to convert Claudius II to Christianity, Valentine was executed. After beating, clubbing and stoning failed to kill Valentine, he was beheaded. The tradition of Valentine’s day celebrated on February 14th has being going on officially since 496 CE. St. Valentine is also a patron saint of epilepsy.

    I hated Valentine’s day as a child, and I still don’t care for the commercialization. While I’ll agree that Valentine’s day should be for everyone, I don’t think it should be put down as a celebration for couples because Valentine died for the sake of sake of couples.

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    1. What a lovely and thoughtful comment, thank you so much for sharing! I think Valentines day has clearly progressed and evolved since then like the rest of society (No beheadings in England now hahah!), and it would be lovely for the day to reflect this evolution:)

      Thank you so much for your comment, it was a pleasure to read 🙂

      Reply

      1. You are welcome. Everyone can be included. I send all my friends male and female Valentine’s ecards. Check your email tomorrow.

  7. Ah Evee, if only. I don’t love myself enough to go out and buy myself a card. But, I send Love and Hugs to the World because I’m too mean to go out and buy everyone a card. Have a very Happy Valentine’s Day (Both of you).
    Cwtch
    The Loan arranger.

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  9. Never been a big fan of VD, nor any other commercialised ceremony. My MIL passed on Valentine’s day 4 years ago, so another reason why we don’t celebrate it, but I do like to idea of writing my husband a card as to why he is my rock. Blessings for this J x

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    1. That sounds lovely Joy. Thank you for sharing:) I hope you get to write a card (Or letter!) to your lovely husband 🙂 I think he will so appreciate it, even if he can’t physically read it in front of you. THat’s what I think when I write my mum cards and letters anyway 🙂

      Have a beautiful day, and happy valentines day xx

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  10. A wonderful idea! However, no need to buy cards, just make them and then you have complete control over the artwork! And of course, there is always something to feel good about, even the simplest things from the crocus soon to flower, a warming bowl of homemade soup, or your feet that step one in front of the other as walk on the earth.

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    1. Oh that is a lovely idea to make a card! Noted!
      I so agree. Today I took the time to do a lot of skincare, a bubble bath and short walk as an act of showing myself I love me 🙂

      Have a beautiful day Ashley, happy valentines! And thank you so much for commenting!

      Reply

  11. I think my favorite Valentine’s days were back in primary and elementary school where each child gave every child in the room a silly little valentine – it was about love, friendship, and caring. I think as adults we put way too much pressure on ourselves to “prove” our love via roses and chocolates. I’d much prefer small gifts like a steaming hot cup of tea on a cold Feb 14th (at least it’s usually quite cold in our part of the world).

    there is way too much emphasis on male/female partnerships and not on the far more important aspects of truly being kind and caring to all others, not just the person you may happen to be romantically involved with – that focus causes a lot of feelings of unworthiness and loneliness – not what the day is meant for at all.

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    1. Yes, the core values of Valentines Day 🙂 Yes for sure! I think that its all about showing love and feelings loved, rather than buying a stuffed bear 🙂

      Exactly!! Thank you so much for commenting, I so enjoyed reading it 🙂

      Have a beautiful day Carol, and happy Valentines!

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  12. This is brilliant! I love the revolt because it doesn’t take away from love, it simply shifts it from what marketing makes us think is the value of this day! Excellent post! Can I reblog this?

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    1. Exactly! We should free ourselves from marketing and enjoy the human emotion behind it all!

      Have a beautiful day, HAPPY VALENTINES TO YOU!

      Thank you so much for commenting, I loved reading it 🙂

      Evee x

      PS feel free to reblog!

      Reply

  13. What a marvelous idea! Thank you notes. I am not being facetious! The art of writing letters and notes has almost disappeared. President Bush Senior used to take every Thursday evening and disappear from any meeting from State Dinners to intelligence briefings (exceptions were made) to family gatherings. He would seclude himself in a room and write dozens of thank you notes to people who had affected his weeks, months, and life.
    Notes last a LOT longer than pixels on a computer!
    Thanx for a GREAT blog. Unfortunately for bloggers, this may be all we get. 😉

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  18. I don’t want candy because I don’t need it. I don’t want flowers for they wilt in a few days. What I love is people so this year we are taking out a couple for a lunch for our Valentine Day. Interesting post.

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  21. It’s the third post I read about loving ourselves on Valentine’s Day, and I so proud! I don’t hate this day, even if I’ve never been engaged on this date, but you’re right, the meaning should be extended, love is a universal feeling, and after all is true that “we can’t love and be loved if we don’t love ourselves”. Nowadays is not easy, we are forced to confront ourselves with the rest of the world every minute, but that’s why is far more important than everything else. Happy love day 🙂

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  26. Thank you for sharing!!.. they were out of cards and I ate the chocolates, sorry… 🙂 🙂 🙂 Valentines day is a day about love and happiness and should be every day… “Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.” (Felix Adler).. 🙂

    So, on this Valentines day, may today, and every day, be filled with love and happiness and until we meet again..
    May your troubles be less
    Your blessings be more
    And nothing but happiness
    Come through your door
    (Irish Saying)

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  27. Since my children were small I’ve bought them Valentines gifts. They are now in their 30’s and I still do it, and now for my granddaughter! It does not have to be about male-female only! Only about love!

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  30. You’re like a flower, you blossom into the beautiful woman you are and spread the spring air with your fresh scent, that’s how i know spring is close by.

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  31. Although it may not be as gender-imbalanced as it was many years ago, I think there’s still a bit more stigmatization for a woman choosing to be single (especially for life) than there is for a decidedly lifelong bachelor.

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  32. I call this dreaded time ‘Valiumtines day’! A benzo is the only thing offering warm hugs, but those prescription pills are even worse than the contrived celebrations and feelings of inferiority.

    It is so nice to hear a desire for celebration of Platonic or self-love. But the day still leaves me feeling empty and discarded, #triggered big time!

    When its over I feel like I am safe for another year and life can truly resume 🙂

    Reply

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