I was meditating in my room. It wasn’t my usual method of meditation, my legs were folded beneath me and I was perched on my calves. My hands were open on top of my thighs, and my eyes were closed. Meditation was something I fell into, rather than actively tried to do. I find it in unexpected places, and it seems to grab me and pull me in when it needs me, rather than the other way around.
As I sat, my mind was in that perfect state. For me, it is as though my mind continues to march around organising, but through it all is that breeze of peace. This peace drowns out the creaks of my body, the movements of my chest. I exist for those moments, where in noise we find silence, and in chaos we find still.
I slowly came to, and I realised that although having heard some hard news lately, it didn’t crush my world. When life slips down the hill, Katie and I often turn to each other and ask each other the same question: What is the point? With our feet slipping, trying to stop everything from falling, our arms aching and our bodies covered in mud, we scream WHAT IS THE POINT IN TRYING SO HARD?
Carefully, we wake up early, settle into our routine, and tell ourselves spells of positive affirmations and lullabies of self-love. We try to be kind, giving. We try to keep our rooms tidy, our minds healthy, and our bodies happy. We do our yoga, meditation, and we work out. We continually support each other and we pick ourselves up when the going gets tough.
I think I have realised a few things. Anything worth having isn’t meant to be so hard, and there is great satisfaction in letting something slip away that wanted to go anyway.
In answer to our question: what is the point? I think the point is that when we have our foundation set and our healthy habits made, it becomes much more bearable to deal with life. As in, when your body is nourished and hydrated, working out is a lot easier than if you are tired, hungry and parched.
I have come to accept that there will always be something to worry about. This weekend showed me this with resounding clarity: On the Saturday I worried about my plant as it had fallen over and looked very bedraggled. On the Sunday I worried about hurt people trying to hurt me. On the Monday we received news that changes lives.
Each day there was a problem, from the smallest to the biggest, gradually growing in size. There will always be something.
But when you have a healthy foundation of a daily routine that nourishes body, mind and soul, life becomes easier. A hellish day becomes a bad day. A bad day becomes a manageable day. A neutral day becomes a good day. A good day becomes a great day. You have the attention and energy to fight what you need to, without it depleting you.