First posted in July 2019. We have grown so much more than we ever thought we would, and we want to share our earlier posts. We aim to reflect on the early struggles of our grief, and what we went through without our mum. We are proud of where we have come from, and of where we are going. We hope you are as well.
If you are struggling with your grief, that is okay. You are not alone.
~
The quiet train carriage was disrupted by my phone alerting me of a new message from my friend: “Results are OUT.” She was referring to our Master’s grade, of course.
All too quickly anxiety whirled up inside of me. I hadn’t expected to receive this message for another month or so. I had thought about this moment a lot. In my head I had compared what would be, with what was on the day that I got my undergraduate results a couple of years ago.
I was in Spain and my mum, of course, was the first person I phoned. She was beaming through the phone so, so proud of me. I got the first-class degree that I so wanted, but then again, she would have been proud with whatever grade I got.
This time I wouldn’t be able to phone her. My happiness would undeniably echo the silence of loss; the loss of her pride or the “I knew you’d do it! I never doubted you for a minute.”
I logged on to the university blackboard page – thankful that the train’s Wifi held out – and sure enough the little red notification appeared in the top right corner of the screen.
72.
My final assignment was worth 72, giving me a grade average of 73. A distinction. I cried. She would have been so proud of me. The Master’s was the cause of so many sleepless nights but one of my final promises that I swore I’d keep. And I bloody well did it.
On Facetime to both my boyfriend and my sister, Evee said to me “That’ll do pig, that’ll do” quoting the iconic final line from Babe, and I laughed through my tears. She was right, that’ll do. It’s over now, I can rest.
I didn’t feel anxious about my trip for the rest of the train journey. Rather, I felt calm.
I couldn’t help but wonder, is this the light at the end of the tunnel that so many people have promised? Are we finally out of the woods?
Katie
Copyright © 2019 The Grief Reality. All Rights Reserved
Congratulations on such a wonderful result. Onwards and upwards as they say!
Onwards and upwards indeed! Thank you 🙂
Congratulations.
Congratulations! 💜 You did it! You vaccines your goal. Your Mom is grinning from ear to ear.
Thank you! I hope so 😀
Don’t know why spell check changed accomplished to vaccines. Lol That’s a good one. 😁
One of my favorite movie quotes! Great job!!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Great film! Thank you very much 😀
It’s really the start of a new journey. Congratulations! 😀
Beautiful post Katie. Congratulations. Well done.
I am reminded of my grandfather. When I was in my high school one day my grand father saw my Physics book and asked me was the whole book in my course and did I know the subject well! Nobody in our entire family had taken up science/engineering before me. He was proud of me as well concerned, whether I will be able to do it.
He passed away before I finished my Engineering. He would have been so happy.
Whatever light is there Katie, it is in our hearts now. And trust me your mom is rejoicing in your peace and calm.
Love and blessings
That sounds like a a great accomplishment! Thank you for your support, Ashok 🙂
🙏
Your journey is just beginning, the possibilities are endless xx
Well done, Such determination. There is always a new challenge ahead, and I know you will be equal to it. 😊😊
Thank you! 😀
I think it’s best if we don’t look to far ahead – or too far behind ourselves. That we see it for what it is now – a good victory and achievement of your goal. Another arrow to your quiver that will arm you for whatever lies ahead of you. An important step along your pathway.
And something of which, undoubtedly, your Mom would be proud. 🙂
(As are we all).
Yep, I completely agree 😊 trying to enjoy the present and appreciate my achievements. Thank you!
Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the start of a different wood. But you are moving which is the most important thing.
Congrats on your degree program and on your growing sense of peace — which is exactly what your mom would want for you to have! Still praying for you ladies!
Thank you, I know she would be so proud of us. I never thought I’d reach this level of peace. It’s not constant but it’s there and I’m so grateful. Thank you for commenting, have a great day!
💜 It’s Only The Body that Goes EveryOne; everything else Remains EveryBody…so Proud 👏🏾 🥲 🥰 ✌🏾 💛 😤 👏🏾 of Katie and Evie; it’s Crystal 🔮 Clear Clarity that We Cannot SEE (Soulful Emotional Energy) Our Foggy Futures yet These Two Daughters of Mine ARE Making a Good Fist of Facing The Future, please Support Them
…💛💚💙…
<3
This is a beautiful share. Congratulations on your accomplishment and the healing you are documenting with past and present posts. It is true what is said about grief, in time we find our way. ❤ Our lives change without our loved ones, but we can still live fully present in our lives and honor all they are to us.
Thank you so much <3
I seem to be a regular “in the woods” person, because as soon as I’m out, I’m walking back in again and getting on with that. Still, someone has to go in, but it’s not for the faint hearted.
You are stronger than you realise <3
You have to hand it to me today, for I went to work after downing one cup of coffee and did a shift with nowt, but a handful of biscuits and a banana. Got home ravenous. Alright now though, bathed, filled my belly and now to chill out on the sofa.
We’re all stronger than we think.