Every day I think of my mum. I think of how she lived, and I think of how she passed away. Every day I think of all of the people who supported my family in those final months, days, hours and beyond.
I think of how we planned a funeral. We were awkward and clumsy, and we had no idea what we were doing, but we were guided by good people. The funeral itself is a bit of a blur in my mind. But my memory is of simplicity and beautifully bright flowers, and all those people who were there to catch us and say their goodbye to my mum, their sister, aunt, colleague, their friend.
When I think of my mum’s passing, there is also a relief. A relief because I know that I did everything in my power, and I spent every waking second that I could be with her. I advocated for her, and I loved her. And knowing that, reflecting on it all, it heals me. My mum was supported, she was loved and she was never alone. As a family we slept in her bedroom with duvets laid out across the floor in those final days. We were terrified but we were together, and amongst those quiet whispers beside my mum’s bedside we were safe. She knew we were there – her family.
It soothes me and it heals and it helps me to grieve because her family was there, and she knows that. It helps me to live. I will think about that every single day for the rest of my life, until I see her again. What this government has taken away from countless people, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, siblings, friends is irreplaceable. It is unforgiveable and my heart hurts.
It is unforgivable to think of the stolen days, the stolen goodbyes, the stolen support. Taken from us from the hands of others busy sipping wine and laughing.
You deserved better. You deserved more. You deserved to be treated with grace, and care.
You have every right to be angry. We are angry with you. This community is one that has been brought together through the purest of intentions; to heal together and support one another. We have to acknowledge that the hardship people have gone through on top of losing a loved one is too painful to articulate.
Your loved one deserved better. Your loved one deserved more. Your loved one deserved to be treated with grace, and care.
Katie & Evee x
13 thoughts on “Unforgivable.”
peace to any deceased soul is the least we can pray for. happy new years.
Sorry about tour grief
As an ex nurse who spent her finals years of nursing in care homes, I am beyond saddened at what care homes have done over the past 2 years. I too find it unforgivable that care staff have withdrawn their support in helping families be with their dying relatives. Blessings to you all xx
It is heart breaking.
My mum is in a care home since 2020 after she was sectioned from her OD early 2019 and never mentally improving. But her needs changed last year and it meant a new care home that could give 24 hour care and from her now having dementia, in May.
I have been separated numerous times, or had to sit at distance.
I am sickened and angry that while they partied, I was separated from mum. A time I wanted to be there, to support her transition to care home and I couldn’t.
I have had times since that I wasn’t allowed last year. I blame the Government for adding to my mum’s decline. The Government have taken away precious time from my mum. The damage is done.
My mum doesn’t want to see me and all the times I have ignored, my last visit, I really believe my mum meant it, as I looked into her eyes.
I have lost mum and I grieve for someone who is still alive.
Dementia or not. I still have to respect mum’s wishes of not wanting to see me. So until mum wants me again, I won’t be there.
I will never forgive or forget what this Government has done to me and many others.
I have shouted out in frustration for others in same, or similar shoes.
I have cried for everyone that I have read, that didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones, because they were not allowed to sit there and be with them.
I will never forget.
I only want Boris out and anyone else who was at that party, or who knew but did not shout out at the time.
Liz, I am so sorry for what you and your mum have been through, and for it only to be made more difficult and by the government’s one sided restrictions. Whenever I post I try to have a resolution but I don’t see one. What they have taken can never be given back, and I cry with you.
You’re right. There is no resolution for what has happened.
I have cried for many times myself, or others. X
It is unforgivable what is happening right now and it’s not just in England. We have an elderly neighbour whose wife is in a long-term care home in our neighbourhood where over 50 residents died in the early weeks of the pandemic. Those deaths could have been avoided if the government funded and staffed the homes properly. Our neighbour wasn’t able to visit his wife for months on end. Then, he could visit her for only an hour a week. It’s so sad. People at the end of their lives can only see their loved ones through windows.
I am so sorry ❤️
I hesitate to use the word, “unforgiveable,” in relation to any sin other than what Jesus described as “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit,” and that’s for my blog one of these days.
But governments around the world, including Johnson’s in Britain and Biden’s in the USA, have taken advantage of this virus to promote fear, panic and thoughtlessness. Like one of our politicians noted, “Never let a crisis go to waste.” Then the pols meet and greet and gather without masks as if nothing is wrong. One commenter called it “rules for thee, but not for me.”
I pray that these government officials will realize the damage they are doing by minimizing human relationships and advocating government “mandates.”
Sadly here doesn’t care. As he was described by a colleague of his, a man who would switch off your life support machine to plug in his mobile. The very least we should expect of those in charge, is that they care.