Reality Revisited: Grateful

First posted in August 2019. We have grown so much more than we ever thought we would, and we want to share our earlier posts. We aim to reflect on the early struggles of our grief, and what we went through without our mum. We are proud of where we have come from, and of where we are going. We hope you are as well.

If you are struggling with your grief, that is okay. You are not alone.


One Friday night last March I was overwrought with grief and exhausted from, what felt like, constantly swimming against the stream. I crawled into bed defeated from the working week and simply cried. I wanted to shut the whole world out and grieve.

All the while my phone was on the side buzzing constantly. It was Evee bombarding my WhatsApp with excited messages about all the comments we were receiving on one of our blog posts.  

Up until that point we hadn’t received much traction. Our blog was simply an online abyss where we would scream “I’M REALLY SAD TODAY AND LIFE HURTS” and then we’d shut the laptop and carry on swimming against the current. 

When we were plunged into such dark and uncertain waters in a life without our mum, we created this blog. We created this blog to become the people that Katie and Evee needed in the darkest moments. 

What we didn’t realise though was that, through this blog, we were entering into a community where we would receive comments daily telling us of similar situations: from other daughters, sons, husbands, wives, mums and dads, all grieving like us. 

We never expected to feel so supported by your comments of encouragement or simple “me too” messages or a “hang on in there, it does get better”. Knowing other people were able to survive such loss gave me hope and shined a light on a future that I thought I’d never be able to attain after losing our mum. 

Today, Evee and I are reflecting on the progress of our blog from a little café on Dartmoor over a cream tea (how very quaint). This blog has given us a weekly slot where we force ourselves to look beneath the surface of “I’m fine thanks” and truly reflect on how Katie and Evee are feeling. 

It has also given me the opportunity to write something for the first time that isn’t going to get graded. In my first post I think I mentioned that I wasn’t much of a writer, but through this blog I have come to know that I actually quite like it!

The Grief Reality has been a place for the pair of us to put our grief into very honest words. Without realising it, in our time of need, we reached out our hands and all of our readers reached right back.  And, for that we are so grateful. 

Thank you.


27 thoughts on “Reality Revisited: Grateful

  1. Wonderful post. Bless you. This is the truly wonderful thing about blogging. People just pop up out of nowhere and say kind things. 🙂 I’m a new reader of your blog. But I had the same experience with mine. My dad died three months ago on Sunday after 14 years of Alzheimer’s. It’s a different kind of grieving I guess because you grieve so much while they’re still alive you are surprised that it still hurts a lot when they die. I have found your blog really helpful. So thank you, you’re doing something wonderful. 👍🙂

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your loss and thank you for sharing. No matter how “prepared” you feel nothing can prepare you for the aftermath of grief without that person. Glad you have found some of our posts helpful, thank you for following 💗

  2. I’m glad you have had such a positive and supportive experience with your blog. The WordPress community is certainly lovely and supportive I have found at difficult times.

  3. It is uncanny that I find this blog today even though I was not looking for it. We lost my brother’s 1 year old son today because of meningitis. I live far away from my home and my mother told me this devastating news over phone this morning while I was still asleep. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t because it was such a shock. I am not able to make sense of reality and digest that something like this has happened. The entire day went into restlessness, fighting the thousand thoughts occuring in my mind. I feel grief, fear and helplessness all at once.

    It’s a deep sinking feeling but even more so I feel terrified that nothing could prepare us for such loss that are always out of our control. At this moment, all I could think of is about the fragility of life, the strength of relationships, the void of loss. Sitting so far away from my family members, feeling utterly helpless and weak, I am thinking of them mourning over this unacceptable loss. Unable to cope up with all these, I suddenly woke up out of sleep at 3 in the night, looked at my phone and there was a notification of you liking one of my old comments on someone else’s post.

    As I read through some of your posts, I could feel a deep sense of sympathy for what you guys must have endured, the pain you bear every single day but more so, a deep appreciation for the strength you have shown, the smile you have come to regain over time. To look into the darkest depths of self, to make peace with grief and come out this honest, in the most authentic self to the world takes a lot of courage. I’m sure you have helped thousands through this blog of yours and will continue to do so, even in such unexpected way as it happened with me today. As of now, I am utterly clueless on how to deal with this loss. Despite of reading your own experience and consolatory words, it would be hard for me to assimilate this reality for a while. How do I fan away this fear that death is inevitable and it will eventually come to everyone you gave ever loved? I am once again treading into the eternal question – what is the meaning of life anyway? Or more fundamentally, what is life?

  4. I was struck immediately by the excellent quality of the writing. The internet is full of people in pain, but you both articulated yours in ways that climbed right inside the hurt and dug it out, excavated it into the full light of day. It felt like catharsis for you, and at this end was like a novel where you cannot stop turning the pages.
    Brilliant, helpful, honest writing. Hats off to you both!👍👍👍

  5. Your words bear such genuine honesty and truth. Anyone who has grieved the loss of a loved one walks with you every day in spirit. Most important of all, God continues to help us work through our grief with His Word and prayer. You are never truly alone.

  6. I came across your blog thanks to your like to a comment.
    I’m experienced in being grateful since God touched my heart in 1989. My brother Francesco died of an overdose at the age of 30.
    That’s not all but… Not now.
    Step by step.
    Hugs from Italy
    Vicky 😊

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