Covid-19 swept across the world and terrified us. The conversation of loss was prevalent everywhere, but what about the conversation about grief?
For us, we think that the conversation about grief was opened up by the pandemic, however, people still do not have the language to be able to hold the conversation. Grief is no longer something tragic that people ignore, it is a very real possibility for everyone at some point in their life. However, people do not have the tools how to hold space when individuals talk about their losses. We think people are so afraid of saying the wrong thing, that they prefer to be quiet; yet this can be more alienating because we can’t read your minds and feel the love of your intentions 🧠
Further to this, the services needed, grief counselling, and grief groups (within institutions such as universities), are few and far between.
As a result, we think grief is still something people do not know how to handle. Everyone knows grief exists, but they would prefer it to exist at the edge of society, between the people who experience it. The effect of this has been a massive rise in online platforms (such as this one!) where we can communicate with each other, where we show each other every day that you are not alone, you are accepted and loved ❤️🩹
Another question we asked is whether society accepts our grief. Most of you said no, and we think the result of all of these factors contribute to why the majority of you said no 🤍
What do you think? Have you noticed a change in societal attitudes to grief since the rise of Covid-19?
With love,
Katie & Evee
Some of you who don’t have access to our Instagram have wanted us to share some of the things we post there! Our Instagram has a lot more education-based posts, which I hope you’ll enjoy.
Hello, Katie and Evee–I think most people feel grief, even if they don’t know how to have it or express it. I’m not sure how to deal with grief over COVID. I took preventive approaches and seem to be okay. But I have lost friends and family. It seems unreal. Maybe because I live in a culture that veritably eradicated pandemic-worthy diseases such as polio and smallpox. But here we have a disease that is killing us. And our reactions, diversely and collectively speaking, are often not helpful. How do we grieve within a morass of nonacceptance? Sheesh. But we have to deal, because parts of us will push and push until they break through or until they exact the costs of repression. So I’m thankful you’re raising the challenge of grief and COVID. Your friend, Christopher
Thank you so much for sharing and for commenting Christopher 🙂
Last night in Warwickshire they burned an effigy of a house filled with memories of lost loved ones. The fact that this pagan (?) certainly ritualistic event meant so much to those people shows people are just now getting to mourn. So much loss and so much stunted grief aa just hit us in waves. It’s going to take a long time for us to come through this all.
I hear you and agree; it will definitely take a long time for us to come through this x
I sometimes wonder whether it is societal changes, our lack of understanding about grief, even now people still associate grief with the loss of loved ones or pets for example when really grief can occur in any situation where loss has been encountered, a relationship breakdown, loss of employment even possessions after all the thought and process of grief is over someone or something that we cherish.
The usual platitudes really don’t cut it any more like you’ll get over it, or take one day at a time, however I do believe that their is a lack of services / healthcare professionals but also that it depends upon the focus of the day and what the political climate looks like, for instance in the UK we are hearing a great deal about the menopause and how it affects women, physically, mentally and emotionally or about bowel cancer and what to look for etc.
I lost 2 family members in the last year and went through a bout of severe depression and yet really no one asked me how or why I might have been feeling and even those people I would spend time with and maybe go out for a coffee with found themselves suddenly busy, it can make you feel that you are on your own or that as you said people don’t know what to say or how to react.
This is such a true and honest comment. Thank you SO much for sharing all of your thoughts; it is met with great honour.
I completely agree that grief is only spoken about when the political climate promotes it.
I’m so sorry for your loss and your journey of grief. It is so hard to lose people, yet it is so cruel to go through it so alone.
Thank you again.
Evee
I thank you for your kind comments and also for sharing yourself and your thoughts with us, I’m honoured to be following your blog and although I didn’t do much blogging last year I’m looking forward to seeing more of your posts now that my schedule and life has become less challenging and dramatic.
Thanks once again Evie.
Warmest wishes,
Paul
Aw thank you Paul, that means the world to me to hear x
Grief is the roughest ride made way worse through the chaos and isolation of a pandemic. So much delayed grief stored up and now slowly being released.
Yes I so agree. The isolation has exaggerated the problem 🤍
Thoughtful questions. Society as a whole is more accepting of grief after so many experienced it through the pandemic, much as occurred after the Spanish Flu Pandemic in the early 20th century. But we humans have short memories, and this acknowledgement that we have suffered quickly fades as we get busy with daily life after death. Your attention to maintaining the memory of your Mum will help you later in life as you experience other griefs; none of us is immune to ongoing suffering in this life, but The God Who Is can make suffering meaningful, and therefore bearable. Read Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Though not a Christ-follower, he understood better than most the importance of seeing meaning in our difficulties.
❤️&🙏, c.a.