In my sleep, I descend the stairs and you rush past me, telling me to hurry up, people are downstairs and they are waiting for us. I’m confused, my jaw opening and closing like the door you just came through; swinging on its hinge at a loss at your presence.
Why do we have this self-imposed idea that throughout our lives we are meant to maintain a perfect, crisp version of ourselves? Like untouched snow, or fresh school shoes that we don’t want to scratch.
This month’s theme for December is “Winter Grief”. Christmas is a hard time of year for those who grieve. Winter can be a tough time for anyone as it is, and it can be made harder by the fact that Christmas is around the corner. With Christmas comes adverts filled with pressure and perfect families enjoying Christmas.
Personally, I find a huge amount of peace when it snows. It is calming to me to know that there is a sheet of white carefully muffling the outside world. I like the quiet snow brings.
In an anxious mental health slip, I decided the best thing I could do was strip my day back to bare minimum.
More from the Van Gogh Alive exhibition!
I would like a conversation, where we talk about life and living and what it all means. Maybe after, my brain will turn into liquid and drip into dreams.
We aim to be as cosy as possible, with blankets, fairy lights and a good relationship with sleep.
This birthday was really my favourite so far.
How could I still be listening out, just in case Mum needed me?