Time to prepare for his funeral/memorial service. Time to get his financial affairs in order. And even time to give in to anticipatory grief.
Today is one of the days where I kneel humbled by my grief. I am not bowled over by it, I am not stressed about it, I am simply shaken by it.
Like those stretchmarks, wrinkles, lines, the added height she has not seen, I am confronted with an intense grief.
Grief is the hollowness in your heart that only fades with time and effort and sometimes even effort isn’t enough to make cleanse the pain that grief brings along with it.
I don’t wonder why they behaved this way, but I ask myself why I responded. I put this individual’s behaviour down to them having a bad day and I forgive them. Yet I can’t forget the fact that they saw me at my most vulnerable, and strangers must have seen me as weak.
Motivation feels like a flying bird: in your eye line for a second, and then gone forever more.
I wondered if it would be okay, me living alone. Waking up, cooking, watching TV. I was afraid I would be like that man from Up.
Writing on the blog is deeply personal. I imagine I sit you down, offer you tea, hold your hand and look you in the eyes. Whilst you may read this and throw it away, or never think of it again, I think of it every day. The power of you sitting with me, and giving me space to share my thoughts.
Hearing the click of the switch as they started treatment. I wish it on no one, not even an enemy.
What’s Your Go-To Comfort Food?