When I wake up, my heart doesn’t split into a thousand pieces. My head doesn’t pound with questions asking me why us, or how are we here. When I reach for a mug for my coffee, my hands don’t shake when I see Mum’s mug.
I wondered whether Mummy felt this way too when she was in hospital and whether I did enough to comfort her. I hope she never felt alone when she was with me.
That’s one of the most difficult things about losing my mum, I just want to tell her how difficult life is without her in it.
After the loss of our mum, we have tried several times to find information online about people in similar situations – to feel less alone, to get advice, to know that life can continue after all of the trauma. We couldn’t find anyone. So, we decided that we would become those people for others through The Grief Reality.
For the first 3 months following my mums passing, I was frantic and desperate for memories. We had already lost her, I was terrified that I’d now forget her too. I wanted to hold on to our memories so tightly as if they were helium balloons. Like a child at the fayre, I daren’t loosen my grip in fear that they’d float away and be forgotten forever.
My mother died in 1999, but I still miss her as though she just walked out the door.
Mommy loves to tell the story of the day I was born. As soon as I was all cleaned up and looking beautiful, they handed me to my Daddy. Of course, I was yelling my fool head off as babies tend to do. He smiled, patted my rear, and snuggled me close.
For our 5th Something To Brighten Your Sunday, I hope you enjoy these photos of some very regal birds!
firstname.lastname@example.org , just pop in the subject “As Told By [Your Name or Anonymous] or you can private message your posts to us on our social media.
That’s my Mum, she existed, she laughed, there was a time she wasn’t dying or sad, when this wasn’t our reality, and when she could hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. The pain is just an indicator of how strong our bond was.