Remember how Mum would always say to break things down, and to not look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is scary, and so is a year. 365 days seems inconceivable right now, but you can manage one day at a time. Stay in bed if you have to. You don’t have to leave the house, you just have to get through another day.
At the moment, I am dealing with stress through art! It has been wonderful to explore an old hobby that I gave up when Mum passed away.
I don’t feel fear like I used to. I’ve learnt that the only thing that you can actually count on in this life is, in fact, change. I don’t try and run away from it anymore; running away takes up too much energy anyway. It’s easier to face it straight on, embrace it, and jump.
Crocuses are the ultimate symbol of hope and the importance of carrying on, in my opinion.
I drew upon all my knowledge of the winds, sky, temperature, soil, watering schedule, seasonal changes, and I could not think of what could be causing her sorrows.
Betty reached into my soul and brought renewed vigour, emotions and memories out. Thank you, Tiffany McDaniel.
And here we are, with a whole life in plastic bags.
I’m a hoarder of moments, desperate to find gold in paper,
Something that I had missed before, like an echoing smile.
I walk in my loving, sweet Danse Macabre,
My fruitless attempt to make “treasure” worthwhile.
Time to prepare for his funeral/memorial service. Time to get his financial affairs in order. And even time to give in to anticipatory grief.