Why do we have this self-imposed idea that throughout our lives we are meant to maintain a perfect, crisp version of ourselves? Like untouched snow, or fresh school shoes that we don’t want to scratch.
I would like a conversation, where we talk about life and living and what it all means. Maybe after, my brain will turn into liquid and drip into dreams.
Who knows what 22 years of age will bring me? I don’t know, but I am so excited for it. I look forward to Friday, for my personal New Year. I will enjoy it the only way I know how; with laughter and love.
Today, I bleed. In the space of a year, everything has changed.
Now I am faced with life after Mum. Life without Mum, with myself, a stranger, who still bases their decisions on what their Mum would do.
I am looking forward to the photography opportunities, the cold wind and then being cosy and warm indoors. 🤍
Before, roller skating meant the art of learning to love myself without having to aim for perfection, and now it is about freedom and healing. When I am skating, I can be whoever I need to be, feeling anything I need to feel.
Shrunken shoulders, bent in pain
Sadness and tears unrestrained
Bring forth whispers of your name
That’s one of the most difficult things about losing my mum, I just want to tell her how difficult life is without her in it.
Learning about grief has taught me to advocate for myself which, has helped people to help me, and for me to help them. And as always, I am reminded repeatedly that people are good.