But that’s grief, isn’t it? It comes when you least expect it. When you find a video you sent to your mum, of you in a pyjama set she bought you, tucked in a bed she kissed you goodnight in, cuddling the cat you both loved so much together.
There’s a small scar above my left eye, a keepsake from the time my sister and I tried to dig our way to China. I don’t remember the exact thought process that led to this bold venture, but since I was 5 and she was 13, I’m sure our reasoning was perfectly sound. I’m also sure that living in southeastern Idaho played a role in the decision because 1) We had nothing else going on, and 2) Local authorities hadn’t yet enacted any laws against minors procuring gardening shovels, ladders, and gas lanterns, and 3) There were plenty of other kids around who were eager to help (probably because we promised them fields of free fortune cookies upon job completion).
I see a girl who got through a difficult year of her life. It was nothing like the worst, but it was nothing like the easiest. I see a girl who has been hurt, who has healed, and who looks to the future with bright eyes. I see a girl who is not perfect, who makes a plethora of mistakes, who has a library of stories and someone who keeps on trying, no matter what.
Merry Christmas and Happy New year, Grievers, and as difficult as it may be, try to begin each day with a smile. It really does help. 🙂 Peace and blessings!
We never had any Big Talks. But over those three months we slowly rediscovered each other. Nothing magical (unless you count being able to laugh together again magical). Just us.
~ I hope I can bring you a small moment of peace as well ~
A video I spent way too long working on.
House plants are a joy to have in your room or in your home. They don’t ask for anything in return. They look after you, when you look after them.
Taking time out of your day to peacefully prune back your plants, taking the time to water them, and gently read about them is quite meditative for me.
I think the thing with grief is that I always want to know the ‘why’ or the ‘what’; Why did I break down after a perfectly nice weekend? What was the trigger? On Sunday night, I went to bed and woke up 23 again, in 2018. I woke up with all of the fresh pain and the memories of my mum passing away. I felt frantic and only wanted to speak to the people who were around me then.
The Grief Café is not just about sad things. It is a place to feel heard, a place to feel accepted. The truth of the matter is: everyone that has been through something similar to us, and we have been brought together by this mutual understanding.
The Grief Café is not a support group, it is simply a place to have a conversation about grief. Our aim is simply to normalise this conversation that everyone should be having.
I am tired. I am drained. I am permanently in a fog. The uncertainty surrounding Covid, how much of it is truth and how much of it…… Read more “As Told By Sean”