I think part of my university experience has been trying to find that for myself. To have a moment of deep pride in my accomplishments.
Everyone knows grief exists, but they would prefer it to exist at the edge of society, between the people who experience it.
What excites you the most?
How have you been doing? How’s your mental health and wellbeing?
Remember how Mum would always say to break things down, and to not look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is scary, and so is a year. 365 days seems inconceivable right now, but you can manage one day at a time. Stay in bed if you have to. You don’t have to leave the house, you just have to get through another day.
Recently, I have been feeling a deep set loneliness encasing my heart, keeping her far from everyone else. Mother’s Day slowly appears in the future, and I begin to get afraid.
Chiquitita, you and I cry,
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.
Your grief is seen and felt, even at the time of the Christmas spirit and when all is merry. You are seen. You are heard. Your loved one, nor you, is forgotten.
How could I still be listening out, just in case Mum needed me?
I felt emotionally exhausted and wanted the opportunity to transfer this emotional struggle into a physical challenge that I could overcome, learn and develop from.