I remember getting excited that 27 people had viewed our words. Those 27 people will never know the inspiration that they invoked on me, as I leapt forward, encouraged to share my story, coping mechanisms and love for mum on my journey with grief.
Usually grief is a concept pushed to the edges of Christmas along with dried out Christmas tree needles and discarded wrapping paper. I had heard of A Boy Named Christmas through flashes on screens in adverts. I thought “boy and mouse; what could go wrong?” Immediately, my heart sank as I discovered the children had lost their mother.
This year we won’t be doing that with you. Your Joy is still there, but your life moved on.
As a child, December was my favourite month. From the 5th to the 9th, using all of my willpower, I used to save up my advent calendar chocolates. On the morning of the 10th, sleepy eyed, I would sit in between my parents as Mum would give me my birthday presents and I would indulge in the chocolates that I had been saving for my big day.
This month’s theme for December is “Winter Grief”. Christmas is a hard time of year for those who grieve. Winter can be a tough time for anyone as it is, and it can be made harder by the fact that Christmas is around the corner. With Christmas comes adverts filled with pressure and perfect families enjoying Christmas.
Personally, I find a huge amount of peace when it snows. It is calming to me to know that there is a sheet of white carefully muffling the outside world. I like the quiet snow brings.
I can’t help but wonder: does my memory serve me? Or, have you have been gone so long that I can barely find the memory?
Spaces like these bring so much peace to my heart.
Today is one of the days where I kneel humbled by my grief. I am not bowled over by it, I am not stressed about it, I am simply shaken by it.
In case you missed anything from October…