Remember how Mum would always say to break things down, and to not look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is scary, and so is a year. 365 days seems inconceivable right now, but you can manage one day at a time. Stay in bed if you have to. You don’t have to leave the house, you just have to get through another day.
Today, I bleed. In the space of a year, everything has changed.
I am looking forward to the photography opportunities, the cold wind and then being cosy and warm indoors. 🤍
Before, roller skating meant the art of learning to love myself without having to aim for perfection, and now it is about freedom and healing. When I am skating, I can be whoever I need to be, feeling anything I need to feel.
Shrunken shoulders, bent in pain
Sadness and tears unrestrained
Bring forth whispers of your name
That’s one of the most difficult things about losing my mum, I just want to tell her how difficult life is without her in it.
Learning about grief has taught me to advocate for myself which, has helped people to help me, and for me to help them. And as always, I am reminded repeatedly that people are good.
For us, we have enjoyed the covid restrictions easing and being able to spend time with our friends and family. What about for you all?
I jumped into the uber, politely asked how my driver was doing, and after exchanging pleasantries, he asked me what year I was in.
“Third year.” I said with a polite smile.
We only had one of my son’s friends at his funeral. His teenage peers had no ritual, no saying goodbye, no closure at all. I often think of the impact on them going forward and I worry about their mental health.